bubbles and mosquitoes

Have you ever been trapped in the gray? No neutral does good but white was too light and black was probably better. But here in the gray, they come visit.
Not those pleasant, having-your-grandma-over visits, no. Those pesky intruding ones that tiptoe in while barging all together. You should see them.
One of them said something about death but I shrugged it off. The next one spoke of sins and I liked it. It seemed almost mystical. Then it made sense, the sinning and the death.
I thought it couldn't be that bad but it got colder and darker. Remembering well, the air was moist. I tried to breath but it was drowning my lungs. I panicked! One of them took me back but--but I wanted to see.
I WANTED TO SEE!

This fucking gray, I tell you. He's a real son of a bitch.
Hey black, let white take a walk on your side. Let's see what sins you get from them.


-----

I wanna feel again. I ask for feelings
and my mind gets caught in a net called
IDLE.

f*ck you.

last year

It's not nice to feel unwanted. I know it. It's far too familiar for me. I've been loved and cared for, like flowers, but also, I've been in the weeds.

"You should apologize to her," I told him.
"But, why?" he said.
"Well, because, she had no other choice but to leave, cos' you're being selfish." I replied.

There was a stiff silence and he stared me in the eye.

I answered his glare: "I don't know. I'm giving you a sensitive approach. I don't know how you would usually handle the situation."

"I feel bad..." He drifted into thought.
"Well, if you feel bad, it's cos' you know you did something wrong."

He got up, lit a cigarette and got lost again into his mixed feelings. The situation was neatly uncalled for and what was necessary to him was excessive to her.

"You need to start prioritizing. You need to realize you only think about yourself and she has to think of her child and then herself. Putting that into perspective should set you well on your way..." I felt I had possibly said too much.

Then there's crossing lines. I know about this as well. There's a border, an edge. Passing that line can lead to great consequences and everyone should always be well aware.

[I guess that's where cool thoughts come into play. After the situation has settled and everything has been said, time needs to be taken for the waters to calm. And then can we make our move and take precise action. But not until that moment has been reached, otherwise, it may all disappear, like dust in sporadic gusts of wind.]

112210

Como seras capaz de pillar fuego
Si ocurre en movimientos lentos
como una partida de ajedrez,
como cualquier juego

Sin embargo, cuidado, que quema
atento y lento y así aprenderás
que lena por lena, arderá mas

Seras capaz de mantener el calor,
justo cuando llega el invierno
no se,
me pregunto

Puede que si o que no
puede que sera tu sabor
sabroso y contradictorio
su dulce menta mezclado con tu calor

y tus besos, un habito, una adicción,
sin medidas, ni cura, ni solución

Así que, aquí me quedo,
esperando a que juegues de nuevo
Tu, olas de viento
y yo llamas de fuego

A ver, que crees?
Que el sol
simplemente es
la luna?
luna cubierta en llamas

O quizas
mil veces preferias
que te cuente que
el sol es la luna
pero desnudo


Cuando anochece
fuera sale la esfera
de leche
y por encima del mar
Mira...
mira como brillan
pequenas gotas lacteas
como si reflejando las estrellas

------

Dulce, dulce luna
la fragilidad nuestra
en este universo tan mas alla
y aqui
somos tan pequenos

Y porque no pretendemos
que yo soy la luna
y tus llamas solares me consumen?

Asi logramos ser grandes e importantes
siempre.

oops.

summer for lovers

I was tempted to swoop my finger across it, as if to lick the cream off. The sun seemed frosty in the morning and it was a muted brightness that condensed on the ground to dew.

"The course of true love never did run smooth."

The streams of heat emitted were tender and sweet to my shoulders. The grass blades flickered in the breeze and I'm reminded of the candles you'd light by your bedside.

The shadows in the room were graceful and full of rhythm. The lit wax was releasing an enticing smell of gardenias and sandalwood. I remember always wanting to be by your side because we were in synch and you always made me sigh.

But just as the sun rises and we met, the sun also sets.

shadow play

The sun used to set moods for us and our day and how we would use the light to play, in the sun, in the shadows, in the drizzled rain, in the bed. The sun that is our life source and decides when most of the world is awake and the other side slaved by the moon and the night and the darkness. The sun which emits heat that feeds vitamin D to our bodies but also nourishes our green cousins that provide us with such pure oxygen.
Sun, my son, giving me warm in the cold and in the heat a shimmering glow as to appear like a pretty penny.