summer tangerine wedges
exploding juiciness
in my warm mouth
sweet citrus
refreshing tangerine wedges
make for your juice
you don't notice but think
'this is sweeter than usual'
--
summer is for rainstorms
and
you are for loving
during storms
with
walls blocking the wind
you
make love to me beneath
sheets
throughout the night
heat
your skin softly breathes
i
adorn your back
with
my fingertips
and our morning kiss
after
the tempest
makes
my toes wiggle
and
with no need for storms
we
do it over again
--
if your problems were clouds
I'd eat them for lunch
and while I sleep
they'd storm at night
your permanence
your eternalness,
you bright blue
you wonderful sky, you
there's no other
for me.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Friday, June 10, 2011
fireflies/fire flys
i am into you.
you come and--and
you undo me
entirely
like tightly wound up
paper curls,
your breath unravels me
into waves
of rippling heat
your skin touches mine
paralyzing my body
decadent and salty
i succumb to such a delicious
and warm taste
an addictive treat
that leaves me yearning
your desires are my fantasy
my joyous creature
you monster
no less than wild
is your pleasant torture
how controlling
or in a dominant synch
we may be
your sweat
all
over
me
you come and--and
you undo me
entirely
like tightly wound up
paper curls,
your breath unravels me
into waves
of rippling heat
your skin touches mine
paralyzing my body
decadent and salty
i succumb to such a delicious
and warm taste
an addictive treat
that leaves me yearning
your desires are my fantasy
my joyous creature
you monster
no less than wild
is your pleasant torture
how controlling
or in a dominant synch
we may be
your sweat
all
over
me
my knights night
The drive home that night was silent, at least, silence remained in the car. Traffic whooshed by echoing within me. The radio was off and the dashboard gleamed bright blue. In my mind, confusion tried to sort out other emotions. It was a feeling of fading, like light deeper into the night.
I felt as if I no longer belonged to myself, all together, mind, body--empty. So what is this feeling of fulfillment? To what do I owe this mysterious, vaguely perceptive feeling?
I stared blankly out the windshield, driven. The route home was usual and automatic, driven dozens of times. I pressed the button to lower the window and let in some air. It was an attempt at having the speedy breeze wake me from my thoughts. I was empty; just filled with noise and gibbering murmurs.
It had been five minutes since I had left. Company at his house that night was quiet and observant. He so usually acts this way leaving me in a wonderment. What is going through that mind of his? I felt that he held back on so much that needed to be said. Perhaps his unspoken words needed nesting in my vacant mind. Was I trying to figure out what he wouldn't say? No...
I, myself, had to organize feelings, unsure of what was in stock. From some time ago I began to lose myself and let go of a rope that was securing my heart. It was now that I came to my senses, breaking free for air. I was fully submerged and hadn't noticed until I had already drowned.
***
"I just feel that I no longer have a guard up with you..."
"But isn't that what love is about?"
"Yeah... I guess you're right. I'm just afraid of being hurt again."
"You're so cynical. One of the many things I love about you."
His rationality breaking barriers that the logical minds shouldn't. He makes perfect sense.
I felt as if I no longer belonged to myself, all together, mind, body--empty. So what is this feeling of fulfillment? To what do I owe this mysterious, vaguely perceptive feeling?
I stared blankly out the windshield, driven. The route home was usual and automatic, driven dozens of times. I pressed the button to lower the window and let in some air. It was an attempt at having the speedy breeze wake me from my thoughts. I was empty; just filled with noise and gibbering murmurs.
It had been five minutes since I had left. Company at his house that night was quiet and observant. He so usually acts this way leaving me in a wonderment. What is going through that mind of his? I felt that he held back on so much that needed to be said. Perhaps his unspoken words needed nesting in my vacant mind. Was I trying to figure out what he wouldn't say? No...
I, myself, had to organize feelings, unsure of what was in stock. From some time ago I began to lose myself and let go of a rope that was securing my heart. It was now that I came to my senses, breaking free for air. I was fully submerged and hadn't noticed until I had already drowned.
***
"I just feel that I no longer have a guard up with you..."
"But isn't that what love is about?"
"Yeah... I guess you're right. I'm just afraid of being hurt again."
"You're so cynical. One of the many things I love about you."
His rationality breaking barriers that the logical minds shouldn't. He makes perfect sense.
Monday, March 14, 2011
retrieved
Querida Tierra,
I long for 5 cent gummies and walks over old brick streets. I long for some real cold weather and hot chocolate. I long for the 20 minute train ride and the not-so-big city life. I long for sunflower seeds and simple strolls at the park. I long for roasted chestnuts rolled up in newspaper cones. I long for late dinners and later curfews. I long for red wine with my every meal and I long for hash joints. I long for simplicity and genuine friends. I long for pedestrian filled streets where menus hang out of bars, written in chalk, using the finest font. I long for apple cider in the summer and rocky beaches, too. I long for the life I had then, but I long it without you.
-------
People are like sunflower seeds. Take them peeled or peel them yourself.
-------
Hidden is the hole that you bare and wear and have no other choice because it’s there. And rules, my good friend, are written to be followed. Had you known any better, you wouldve read the manual: a heart beats to be broken. And art is hung up on the wall, not looking into your eyes. But after cups of coffee in between your sheets and some time ago, you noticed, I noticed, we stopped caring. During your temporary absence, I always found you tangible. Slight static slowly sunk into my ears and I’d tune into you. I read it somewhere: You no longer supplement my existence.
-------
The sun casts upon me a beautiful light and a beautiful spell.
(Eyes shut, Rays in.)
Before me shines this positively, motivational moving color. The brightest of oranges and pinks, kissing my eyelids. Caught in a slow chase, they move lazily. Warm like a bed of flowers sunbathing.
My fingers play a tune to the the Wind and he follows causing a chill, my mouth now curving into laughter. And on my lips, in the shape of slits, lies sin.
------
The sound of rain is so tranquil. The sight of it can be mesmerizing. As it hits the ground I’m reminded of salt shakers. It can smell like cool wet asphalt or like freshly dampened dirt, depending on where you are on this Earth.
There’s a child in me, an impulsive, irrational little being, that wants to go out and run in the rain. Not only run, but jump from puddle to puddle. Spring up with all my might and SPLASH! right back down to the ground. The rain feels cold and alive. I’m reminded that I’m a warm blooded being while beginning to catch Nature’s blissful kisses with my tongue. She loves us and we know this. This is her way of being gentle with us.
I long for 5 cent gummies and walks over old brick streets. I long for some real cold weather and hot chocolate. I long for the 20 minute train ride and the not-so-big city life. I long for sunflower seeds and simple strolls at the park. I long for roasted chestnuts rolled up in newspaper cones. I long for late dinners and later curfews. I long for red wine with my every meal and I long for hash joints. I long for simplicity and genuine friends. I long for pedestrian filled streets where menus hang out of bars, written in chalk, using the finest font. I long for apple cider in the summer and rocky beaches, too. I long for the life I had then, but I long it without you.
-------
People are like sunflower seeds. Take them peeled or peel them yourself.
-------
Hidden is the hole that you bare and wear and have no other choice because it’s there. And rules, my good friend, are written to be followed. Had you known any better, you wouldve read the manual: a heart beats to be broken. And art is hung up on the wall, not looking into your eyes. But after cups of coffee in between your sheets and some time ago, you noticed, I noticed, we stopped caring. During your temporary absence, I always found you tangible. Slight static slowly sunk into my ears and I’d tune into you. I read it somewhere: You no longer supplement my existence.
-------
The sun casts upon me a beautiful light and a beautiful spell.
(Eyes shut, Rays in.)
Before me shines this positively, motivational moving color. The brightest of oranges and pinks, kissing my eyelids. Caught in a slow chase, they move lazily. Warm like a bed of flowers sunbathing.
My fingers play a tune to the the Wind and he follows causing a chill, my mouth now curving into laughter. And on my lips, in the shape of slits, lies sin.
------
The sound of rain is so tranquil. The sight of it can be mesmerizing. As it hits the ground I’m reminded of salt shakers. It can smell like cool wet asphalt or like freshly dampened dirt, depending on where you are on this Earth.
There’s a child in me, an impulsive, irrational little being, that wants to go out and run in the rain. Not only run, but jump from puddle to puddle. Spring up with all my might and SPLASH! right back down to the ground. The rain feels cold and alive. I’m reminded that I’m a warm blooded being while beginning to catch Nature’s blissful kisses with my tongue. She loves us and we know this. This is her way of being gentle with us.
Friday, December 31, 2010
typical end-of-the-year post
This thing has been a diary of sorts, since most of what I write is really personal. These 365 days have been insane for lack of a better word (or description for that matter). My January was fun; I had nothing but it was fun. Soon everything began to wind up really tight and somewhere along spring, it snapped.
It was like a really lame roller-coaster, those kiddy ones at the carnivals that don't do much but go up and down. It was stupid. I was upset by silly things, I committed stupider mistakes which were no less than "justified" at the time. I learned so much.
Summer came, along with it, your typical romance.
By fall, I realized that I wasn't doing much with my life. Nothing, would never lead me to success. It's not that I was a bad person but I had no drive for myself. The change felt as if it only took 12 hours. I woke up one day and said, "enough is enough" and did what I felt was needed.
I grew up this year, from 21 to 22. I'm an adult, seriously an adult, with responsibilities and bills. I go to school and have a pretty decent job. I pay for my own things, take my classes, do most of my homework. My first quarter at MIU should have been better but it's all based on learning. I know next quarter I'll have to dedicate some more time if I really want to stand out from the crowd.
I know what tune ups are necessary and this time around it will be that much better. 2011 holds great things for me and I KNOW IT.
All I have to do is wake up tomorrow morning and live life to it's fullest.
It was like a really lame roller-coaster, those kiddy ones at the carnivals that don't do much but go up and down. It was stupid. I was upset by silly things, I committed stupider mistakes which were no less than "justified" at the time. I learned so much.
Summer came, along with it, your typical romance.
By fall, I realized that I wasn't doing much with my life. Nothing, would never lead me to success. It's not that I was a bad person but I had no drive for myself. The change felt as if it only took 12 hours. I woke up one day and said, "enough is enough" and did what I felt was needed.
I grew up this year, from 21 to 22. I'm an adult, seriously an adult, with responsibilities and bills. I go to school and have a pretty decent job. I pay for my own things, take my classes, do most of my homework. My first quarter at MIU should have been better but it's all based on learning. I know next quarter I'll have to dedicate some more time if I really want to stand out from the crowd.
I know what tune ups are necessary and this time around it will be that much better. 2011 holds great things for me and I KNOW IT.
All I have to do is wake up tomorrow morning and live life to it's fullest.
Monday, December 27, 2010
bubbles and mosquitoes
Have you ever been trapped in the gray? No neutral does good but white was too light and black was probably better. But here in the gray, they come visit.
Not those pleasant, having-your-grandma-over visits, no. Those pesky intruding ones that tiptoe in while barging all together. You should see them.
One of them said something about death but I shrugged it off. The next one spoke of sins and I liked it. It seemed almost mystical. Then it made sense, the sinning and the death.
I thought it couldn't be that bad but it got colder and darker. Remembering well, the air was moist. I tried to breath but it was drowning my lungs. I panicked! One of them took me back but--but I wanted to see.
I WANTED TO SEE!
This fucking gray, I tell you. He's a real son of a bitch.
Hey black, let white take a walk on your side. Let's see what sins you get from them.
-----
I wanna feel again. I ask for feelings
and my mind gets caught in a net called
IDLE.
f*ck you.
Not those pleasant, having-your-grandma-over visits, no. Those pesky intruding ones that tiptoe in while barging all together. You should see them.
One of them said something about death but I shrugged it off. The next one spoke of sins and I liked it. It seemed almost mystical. Then it made sense, the sinning and the death.
I thought it couldn't be that bad but it got colder and darker. Remembering well, the air was moist. I tried to breath but it was drowning my lungs. I panicked! One of them took me back but--but I wanted to see.
I WANTED TO SEE!
This fucking gray, I tell you. He's a real son of a bitch.
Hey black, let white take a walk on your side. Let's see what sins you get from them.
-----
I wanna feel again. I ask for feelings
and my mind gets caught in a net called
IDLE.
f*ck you.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
last year
It's not nice to feel unwanted. I know it. It's far too familiar for me. I've been loved and cared for, like flowers, but also, I've been in the weeds.
"You should apologize to her," I told him.
"But, why?" he said.
"Well, because, she had no other choice but to leave, cos' you're being selfish." I replied.
There was a stiff silence and he stared me in the eye.
I answered his glare: "I don't know. I'm giving you a sensitive approach. I don't know how you would usually handle the situation."
"I feel bad..." He drifted into thought.
"Well, if you feel bad, it's cos' you know you did something wrong."
He got up, lit a cigarette and got lost again into his mixed feelings. The situation was neatly uncalled for and what was necessary to him was excessive to her.
"You need to start prioritizing. You need to realize you only think about yourself and she has to think of her child and then herself. Putting that into perspective should set you well on your way..." I felt I had possibly said too much.
Then there's crossing lines. I know about this as well. There's a border, an edge. Passing that line can lead to great consequences and everyone should always be well aware.
[I guess that's where cool thoughts come into play. After the situation has settled and everything has been said, time needs to be taken for the waters to calm. And then can we make our move and take precise action. But not until that moment has been reached, otherwise, it may all disappear, like dust in sporadic gusts of wind.]
"You should apologize to her," I told him.
"But, why?" he said.
"Well, because, she had no other choice but to leave, cos' you're being selfish." I replied.
There was a stiff silence and he stared me in the eye.
I answered his glare: "I don't know. I'm giving you a sensitive approach. I don't know how you would usually handle the situation."
"I feel bad..." He drifted into thought.
"Well, if you feel bad, it's cos' you know you did something wrong."
He got up, lit a cigarette and got lost again into his mixed feelings. The situation was neatly uncalled for and what was necessary to him was excessive to her.
"You need to start prioritizing. You need to realize you only think about yourself and she has to think of her child and then herself. Putting that into perspective should set you well on your way..." I felt I had possibly said too much.
Then there's crossing lines. I know about this as well. There's a border, an edge. Passing that line can lead to great consequences and everyone should always be well aware.
[I guess that's where cool thoughts come into play. After the situation has settled and everything has been said, time needs to be taken for the waters to calm. And then can we make our move and take precise action. But not until that moment has been reached, otherwise, it may all disappear, like dust in sporadic gusts of wind.]
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